Inglish

Posted on January 5, 2007
Filed Under Uncategorized |

And now for something completely different…

To “europe-anise” English :
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”. This would bring it closer to German.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible!

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl




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Comments

2 Responses to “Inglish”

  1. matt608 on January 6th, 2007 9:28 am

    Hi, as you know we have exchanged links. I thought should remind you about

    http://www.technorati.com

    It will get you ranked in the ‘worlds’ rankings.

    I am telling you this, not because you would be my referral (there isnt a referral system on it), but because it records the number of other technorarti sites that link to me. And for your link to be recognised you have to be a member.

    Most bloggers are a member, I would advice you to check it out.

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    Thanks, Matt608

  2. monetizeyourblog on January 6th, 2007 9:06 pm

    Matt, I am a member already. The difficulty is that my blog has been marked as spam and technorati support are not telling why, or how I can get it unflagged.

    Thanks for the tip though.

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